Compassionate Hearts

Help for the Hurting from Regina Davis, MSW, LSW

Women of the Word Ministries was designed for the support and encouragement of women of all ages. Part of Our mission is to provide resources for women who have been hurt and are hurting right now. We want you to know that Jesus loves you and does not want you to live a life of hurt and pain. Maybe you were abused as a child, maybe you are being physically, verbally, mentally or emotionally abused right now. We want to let you know that there is help for you. You are not alone: One out of every three women today are being or have been abused in some way.. What that means is that, if you are in a room with thirty women, that at least ten of them have suffered from some form of abuse in their lifetime. Abuse does not discriminate, it can occur to anyone no matter what their culture, socioeconomic or educational background.

Some of us are being abused and are unable to recognize the way you are being treated as abuse. You may think well, this is the way it should be and that this is only happening to me. You may think, no one will understand anyway.

The following is a list and description of the various forms of abuse and how you can receive help and healing from the Lord though His everlasting love.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: (Wife Abuse)
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The cycle of violence begins with the honeymoon stage, this can be weeks, months or even years, the duration varies with each relationship. This is the stage where everything is fine, the love in the relationship is very intense and satisfying. At this stage the abuser (not yet the abuser, but the abuser- to-be) worships his partner. The next stage is fault finding, where the abuser makes accusations and finds faults with his wife. At this point in the cycle he lets her know that she is not the perfect wife that he thought he married. The next stage entered is minor abuse, this stage may start out with shouting, pushing, shoving, degrading, etc. The stage immediately following is where things begin to escalate. Minor abuse occurs more often and each time it occurs it becomes worse. Finally, some type of major abuse occurs. A broken arm, fractured skull, knife wound, etc. Usually she is seen in an Emergency room or a doctor's office.

The cycle ends with the apology. "He swears it will never happen again. The sudden change in behavior is confusing for the woman and makes it very difficult for her to leave." (All in the Family, Linda Chambliss, MD, April 1994). This is because she wants to believe he will change and that it will never happen again. After the apology stage the cycle begins all over again.

Psychological abuse. " This is sometimes the most hurtful type of abuse overtime." (The Practical Journal for Emergency Physicians, 1996). The abuser often isolates his partner by denying access to telephones, televisions, radios, newspapers or any other outside influence. This type of abuse is very effective because it can alter the abused individuals perception. After a while the victim contributes to her own isolation by concealing injuries or concealing what is really going on at home. Repeat psychological abuse lowers a woman's self-esteem significantly and leaves the door open for various mental illnesses.

Physical abuse. The abused spouse is constantly being intimidated. The threat of violence is always hanging over her head. She becomes very fearful of her partner.

Sexual abuse. may involve any of the following: forcing her to perform sexual acts against her will, physical abuse of sexual parts of her body, not allowing the use of protection against sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and even forcing abortions.

Financial abuse is also devastating. This type of abuse is the type that we rarely consider, when to comes to domestic abuse. Another name for this form of abuse is economic abuse. Economic abuse can be perpetrated in the form of forcing her to ask for money, keeping her on a small allowance and taking money away from her. Also, the abuser makes her account for every dime she has spent, forbids her to have her own bank account or even access to his and doesn't allow her to have any credit cards of her own. He may not even allow her to hold a job. He may keep her blind to the total household income, so any financial decision he makes will not be questioned.

The Lord never intended for women, His beautiful, uniique creations to be abused, in any way. He created us for His pleasure. To do His will on the earth. When we are being abused God is greiving. He wants you to cry out to Him and come under His divine protection. Sometimes we think we can handle any situation ourselves, but the more we try, it seems, the worse off we become. Some of you are hoping for change and some have been so beaten down over the years by abuse that you think there is little that you can do.

Jesus says "come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest, Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your soul. for my yoke is easy and my burden light." Matt. 11:28-30.

Mary Magdaline was a women who was being physically and sexually abused, she thought that she had no choice but to try and make a living as a prostitute. Jesus rescued Mary Magdaline from her abusers. After they had sexually abused her, they wanted to kill her by stoning her to death These men also verbally abused her by calling her every vile name that they could think of. When she met Jesus she was healed, delivered and set free from her painful past. and her life began to turn around. Jesus did not judge her or condem her for her past, He instead, reached out to her and provided the love and support she needed to change her life. She began to follow Jesus instead of trying to make it on her own. She listened to His teachings and no longer felt guiilty or ashamed of what had happened to her in the past. The Bible tells us that Jesus used Mary to deliver the Good new of the Gospel to the disciples.

The Bible also says that He is no respector of persons, what He has done for one He will do for you. He loves you with an everlasting love, and only wants good things to happen in your life. Won't you give him a chance to heal you and take care of you the way you should be taken care of.

Women of the Word Miinistries is here for you, if you need help or just someone to talk to, we are available to talk and walk you through what ever you are going through. We will not judge you or condem you, we only want to help you find healing through the love and compassion of Jesus Christ.

Please call us, someone will be available to talk and pray with you. (877) 274-life or you can contact us through this website Don't be afraid that anyone will find out that you discussed this with someone. Please be assured that as a licensed therapist confidentiality is my commitment to you.